Ramblings of a Wordaholic Hello. My name is Sam. I enjoy coffee, books, and big sweaters.

Jason Mraz is my hero.  His music makes me smile, and his voice sooths my soul.  And since I can’t have him (he drops the F-bomb too often for me), I’m glad that he found someone as perfect for him as Tristan, who he proposed to on Thursday night.  Here’s an adorable Christmas song by the happy couple.  Congrats to the future Mr. and Mrs. Jason Mraz, and Merry Christmas.

What to give the girl who has everything
All i want for Christmas you
Here’s my list
I checked it twice
Wasn’t good, wasn’t bad
I was naughty and nice
Had my eye on you all year long
And now I know fo sho
I wouldn’t even have to try you on
No need for gift return

It’s going to be a cold winter
But I wont need the heat to keep me warm
As long as you wrap yourself around me
On Christmas morn’
Whether it’s now or later
S’long as it’s before you go, you know
My love is always in your favor
And now you know that
All I want for christmas…
Is…

Sweet like a candy cane
Hanging from the tree
I will stripe you red and green
When you hit me like a sugar rush
No need for the other stuff
This season you’re all that I need
They say wishing for you
Is like wishing for snow in Southern California
But you know that I can prove them all wrong
Cause my love is true
I simply adore ya

It’s going to be a cold winter
But I wont need the heat to keep me warm
As long as you wrap yourself around me
On Christmas mornin’
Whether it’s now or later
As long as it’s before you go, you know
My love is always in your favor
And now you know that
All I want for christmas…
Is…

Can’t say that I’ve been good all year
But I’ve been making resolutions to get you here
And if it means being better than whatever, no sweat
Well I bet my halls that I deck for the cause
And Santa Claus, he knows what my intentions are
Even dismissing mistle toe
So I get to know ya, first of all
Singing oh my god
You’re the reason that I decorate my yard

It’s going to be a cold winter
But I wont need the heat to keep me warm
As long as you wrap yourself around me
On Christmas mornin’
Whether it’s now or later
Got to tell you before you go, that
Love is always in your favor
And now you know that
All I want for christmas…
All I want for christmas…
All I want for christmas is us..
All I want for christmas is us…

This is Alex Raul Rivera Cruz.  He is 11 years old as of September 30, and he is my sponsor child through Inca Link International.  He is the light of my world and the love of my life.  This child is just like any other child concerning his spectrum of emotions.  He feels happiness, sadness, loneliness, acceptance, hunger, thirst, satisfaction, and joy.  The difference is when and how often Alex feels these things.  He feels hunger and thirst more often than you do.  He feels sadness and loneliness almost constantly as he tries to raise his three younger siblings.  However, thanks to Inca Link’s daycare center, he feels satisfaction after his hearty meal three times a week.  He feels happiness as he plays with the other kids on the “cancha.”  He feels joy when he hears the gospel of Jesus Christ.  And best of all, I know that he feels acceptance when he is in my arms.  I am his hero, and he is certainly mine.  Sponsorship has been an amazing gift for Alex, but I know that it has been the greatest gift I have ever received.  I want nothing more than to get back to Peru so that I can hold him once again and feel his tiny little arms around me.  Please check out Inca Link’s Sponsorship page to get involved and be someone’s hero.

it’s the song from the movie once.  and i love it.

“I don’t know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can’t react
And games that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You’ll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I’m painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I’ll sing along”

I’m hot ‘cause I’m fly.  You ain’t ‘cause you not.

It’s pointless to complain about grammatical errors in rap music.  If you can’t handle a little pronoun-antecedent disagreement, turn off the Snoop Dogg and crank up the Beethoven.  It’s not his fault that you’re OCD.

This weekend was fabulous.  Beautiful.  Emotional.  Unemotional.  Freeing.  Captivating.  Hurtful.  Healing.  Deep.  Short.  Perfect.

Tootsie texted me saying that she climbed a 5.12.  Woah.  I want that to be me someday.  Someday is nowhere near now, though.

Scatterbrained I am.  Leave I must.  Sianara.

It’s weird.  I try so hard, or I don’t try at all, and no matter what, some people will NEVER be even REMOTELY interested in you.  Lame.  Do you ever notice me?  Are my texts, my Facebook posts, or my passing “hello’s” ever appreciated?  I doubt it.  But how I wish they were.  I wish you would look at me and think more than “Oh.  Her.”  I wish it would take you less than thirty minutes to text back the word “Hah.”  I wish you would have laughed at my joke about changing your persona to “badass biker.”  But wishes are just that:  wishes.  Again, I turn to academics to console me.  I do find such refuge in Catherine Earnshaw’s trials.  In the ancient city of Athens, I find shelter.  Alexander Pushkin brings a smile to my face, only rivaled by that which you can inspire.  I love learning.  Acquiring knowledge is one of the most enrapturing experiences.  I mean, Corey, you sure are cute… but not as cute as Pushkin.

I think maybe I’ll go to California for this summer if Peru doesn’t happen.  I found some good paid internships, and they sound pretty decent.  I could be a beach bum writer all summer.  Switching audiences:  how do you like the sound of that, you?  Since you think a missions internship is a cop-out, a lame attempt to make a difference in the world, how about I go sit around in West Hollywood, sipping up some Vitamin D and writing about what Cameron Diaz ate for breakfast?  Would that make a difference?  Would that make you happy?  I think I would be content.  I would have been truly happy in Peru, but since now that may not even happen (probably thanks to your jinxing), I guess I will settle for idle, contemptuous contentment.  Whatever.  Have it your way.

I need a cup of coffee.  Too bad I can’t afford a coffee maker.  Or coffee, for that matter.  I do have such a lovely mug, though.

Richard:  ”I LOVE SHRIMP. WHO ELSE LOVES SHRIMP?”

Rory:  ”Me!  I’m a fan!!”

I think that everyone in the world should give up texting for the day.  Then, one would have to pick up the phone and actually interact with someone to truly find out “what’s up” instead of a two-worded cop-out.  To hear the voice of someone who called you is to know that you are wanted.  At least, your input, approval, or inclusion is desired, and that means far more than “what’s up?” ……. “nothin’.  you?” …….. “just bored. thought id see what’s up.”

(side note: USE AN APOSTROPHE AND CAPITAL LETTERS, even in a text message!!)

Caught in the middle of a crossfire, lost my balance on a high wire, trying to figure out what to do.

Pushed to the edge of my reason, everywhere around me, it’s treason.  I don’t want to do that to you.

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky, are we going down or will we fly?  This could be a shipwreck on the shore, or we could sail away forevermore.  This time, it’s sink or swim, sink or swim.

Hearing the song in your laughter, a melody I chase after, no one else has done this to me.

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky, are we going down or will we fly?  This could be a shipwreck on the shore, or we could sail away forevermore.  This time, it’s sink or swim.

Take a deep breath; no more time left; this is what I thought I wanted; why am I afraid?

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky, are we going down or will we fly?  This could be a shipwreck on the shore, or we could sail away forevermore.  Kamikaze airplanes in the sky, are we going down or will we fly?  This could be a shipwreck on the shore, or we could sail away forevermore.  This time, it’s sink or swim, sink or swim.

Tyrone Wells.

my to-do list for today:

1. find cell phone

2. finish organizing dorm room

3. write a speech

4. find cell phone

5. reschedule saturday dinner for sunday

6. FIND CELL PHONE.

It’s an issue.

This is why I should never EVER stop writing:  because every time I do, I get so emotionally stressed out that I become bitter and unpersonable, which only worsens my situation.  I feel like a human rubber band, stretched in as many directions as inches of snow on the ground in Boone, and the cold makes the stretching harder.  However, the thing is, no one else is stretching me.  I’m stretching MYSELF, because I want to be in every place at once.  I want to hang out with the cute boy in my building, go to lunch with 3 different people separately, talk to the RUF pastor, call my parents, have my resume reviewed, finish organizing my new room, do all of my homework, AND watch Jack Bauer kick butt, all in one day.  (yes, that was my day today.)  Let me tell you, it is TIRING.

When you’re emotionally entwined in thirty thousand different situations, this “doing everything” connundrum even more difficult, because you’re not fully “there” when you’re there, ya dig?  So then you leave that event/meeting/class/situation displeased, because you know that you didn’t get as much out of it as you should have.  And you know it’s your own fault, tripling the difficulty!  ARGH.  (Then you turn into a pirate, buy a pegleg, an eyepatch and a parrot, and things just go downhill from there.)

I need an escape.  Charleston was supposed to be that, but when you’re constantly surrounded by people with their loved ones on Valentine’s Day, it makes those “emotional entwinings” inescapable.  Bet that one’s a bit less ambiguous now, eh?  I’ve thought about going somewhere alone, but I’m never truly happy when I’m alone, and the one person who I thought I would always be able to escape with like we have in the past has found herself a fella.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for them.  They are more compatible than any other two people I know.  But escaping “emotional entwinings” is impossible when she’s talking to her fella the entire time she’s with me.

Maybe I should just seclude myself and submerge my life in academics, becoming a hermit and shoveling knowledge into my mind one mathematical theory or piece of literature at a time.  But then I again would encounter the problem of solitude.

ARGH.  Pirate doesn’t sound so bad anymore.  Captain Snakes on a Plane (if you don’t know, then don’t ask.)  Too bad a captain is no good without a trusty first mate. Argh?

Dear, I thought I’d drop a line.

The weather’s cool.

The folks are fine.

I’m in bed each night at nine.

P.S., I love you.

Yesterday we had some rain, but all in all, I can’t complain.

Was it dusty on the train?

P.S., I love you.

Write to the Browns just as soon as you’re able; they came around to call.

I burnt a hole on the dining room table, and, let me see, I guess that’s all.

Nothing left to tell you, dear, except each day seems like a year.

Everybody’s thinking of you.

P.S., I love you.

This may seem slightly morbid, but I was looking through my good friend Randy’s pictures and realized that there are several small things that I want to do before I die- several simple pleasures of life that I have yet to enjoy.  Some may seem relatively normal, and others are slightly more Sam-specific.  So, here it is: my list of tasks to accomplish before I “kick the bucket.”  (That sounds odd to me, for whatever reason.)

1. Fly a kite
2. Run a half marathon
3. Climb a real rock
4. Ride a horse on the beach
5. Go skinny-dipping (I hear it’s pretty great!)
6. Have an article or a picture published in a well-known magazine or newspaper
7. Visit London, Paris, Rome, Greece, Venice, Madrid, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Berlin, Turkey, and Switzerland (This one definitely counts as more than one! Hah.)
8. Take part in drilling a well in a village in a third-world country
9. Buy a puppy that I can truly call my own
10. Go snowboarding or skiing
11. Watch every movie in the Disney Classics series
12. Name a baby
13. Have a legit picnic (blanket, basket, and all!)
14. Learn to surf
15. Visit Liberia with my brother
16. Graduate college
17. Either receive a Master’s or attend some sort of seminary/mission program
18. Read all of the Bronte sisters’ books
19. Attend an English Romantic-style ball (costumes are a must!)
20. Make an evening gown

That’s it for now.  Maybe I should get started on some of these!!